Pensioner Potter

For the young at heart

This season’s Spotlight falls on Harryonious Newtonius, better known as the prancing canary; due to his often wearing of a particular hue while out practicing venery for senior prizes. He descends from the Genus: Hard-Bones, of the pterodactyl family: the ilk feared and lives to ripe old age: blessed in not living amongst hostile predators, or bothered by natural afflictions, although it's been said he does twitch somewhat in the presence of the females of the species. He’s a creature that has a sound, musical ear, and is happy to travel some distance to indulge in choral groups, harmonizing, twitteringly, aiming to ascend those high notes to reach the canopy to attain best effects. At ground level this adept, gregarious aves often attends happenings in the local theatre, where he’ll ruffle feathers with the best of them in pursuance of the desired affect. Then, once convinced, retire to the aerie and suffering mate, satisfied with the night’s performance, before preparing oneself for the morrow’s challenges.


This month’s Spotlight falls on Christus Plimblotus, better known as the Lark Bunting, due to its fondness for high places, where it gorges on insects while on the wing. But also has a tendency to indulge at table down below- when the mood arises.

Its a rare bird in that its cousins’ populate areas of North America whereas this one is quite contente to potter in the Cheshire locale, where it was born and bred on the Moss- not too far from the Rose, where, in season, they kick- the- hell out of a ball.


It's a clever avis though and can count much more than mere flies...a kind of book-worm if you like, which numbers highly in accountancy. Where the poor thing must squat for hours ruffling feathers figuring things out before any urge befalls it to take flight of fancy.

Previous Spotlights

Steveus Woodcutus, better known as the Short Necked Woody Pecker. Often mistaken for the more famous Woody WoodyPecker of film noir fame, but for this yellow stripe down its tail. Not a particularly fussy bird, so is willing to rough it if needs be, as long as there are enough trees for cover. Prefers softwoods rather than hard though, on account of its small beak not being perdurable enough. Often heard in the forest hammering away at some unfortunate tree in pursuance of its favorite indulgence of devouring wood-lice, for which it will go to great lengths to effectuate, leaving no-log-unturned for this busy little pursuant. Though a territorial aves, it has a tendency to fly off to warmer parts; to the middle east, they say, to partake in activities other that just trees, simply because there aren't any. But the bird does findssolace mixing with local chicks on sandy ground and chills-out by the endless coastlines that's characteristic of those parts. However, it's natural instincts soon has it returning to its territory around the verdant enclaves of old Bollington, where it's not unusual to be seen visiting old haunts, mixing it with counterparts, before leaving to roost on its trusty old perch in the strip they call, Coppice Rise.



Dotty Larkus, better known as the Deep Chested Warbler, due to the wondrous sound this aves emanates. High in the trees this creature likes to perch and tweet melodious tune, which, unfailingly, draws people from afar just to hear this enchantment,- like the Sirens drawing sailors towards the rocky out crops and doom, but here the ending is far different and much more pleasing. The species is gregarious and travels far and wide to seek others of the family and indulge in sporty activities. Sagacity springs to mind when someone seeks help to a problem from this friendly but worldly bird, which is also rather fond of the local habitat, where the odd Cockerel may flash its colourful plumage to admiring followers and  may even turn a few heads to boot. Though these days it's not such a good layer it has a tendency to egg from other sources and if the locale's suitable enough will patronise in kindred. So here we have a canny bird that knows its value in life and who's ability can warble to those dizzy captivating high notes. A true diva indeed of the feathered kingdom.

This week's Spotlight falls on Briantus Jackanory better known as the Wilmslow-Natterjack, due to the fact that he often flies roundlooking for tit-bits of wonderment in all manner of place to feed his hungry appetite for knowledge, whether it be trivial or the much heavier kind. It's an Avian that's quite happy to sit on the fence, displaying it's fine plumage while others of the kind, duck, dive, weave and tumble in the belief that he himself won't end up behaving in that fashion. Not so much a migratory bird, though given the opportunity is willing to travel, if only to enhance his ability to tweet on about it. Doesn't suffer fools gladly and will go at great lengths to wear them down with statistics- such as, how long would it take to fly the southern ocean as would an albatross, but with less than half its wingspan. It's an affable creature though,and is happy to mix it with other flocks and spread the gospel throughout the bird world. It's also fond of plotting courses on rough terrain, where other aves would possibly go astray, then happily tweet them on where they went wrong. And then of coursethere's his acute ability to warble oodles of songs - all at the same time, so keeping several chicks a coo-ing for a considerable while. So, it's a bird with impressive attributes with an incredible pedigree, and through that lineage along came the Dodo bird. 

This weeks Spotlight falls on Grantus Titus, better known as the Wide-Backed Reed-Warbler. Who's natural habitat is in the wilds of Staffordshire and borders of East Cheshire. A keen navigator that likes nothing more than to navigate canal and any other watery places when the opportunity arises. Though a big Avian it can reach into small nooks and crannies in search of nourishment, which is never ending for this species of aves. It's also a gregarious kind which will fly some distance to meet others of its species to indulge in strange ritual of postures, they say it enhances their wellbeing and keeps the plumage in good fettle. So It's a colourful creature with many facets to play with and further to that is a habit of clearing undergrowth in areas of woodland and such for easier access to aviate, then invite others along to give it a go. This is just another of its good attributes, though there maybe some nasty ones lurking back there, but we shan't go down that path for fear of ruffling some feathers. 

Spotlight on Gregorious Turnup, better known as the Bald Crested Grass Warbler. This bird's natural habitat is in the sticks around Leek but it frequents other parts of Macclesfield and Bollington, where it earns a crust tending large gardens and hedgerows. It has a tendency to tweet a lot and favours idle moments though he's a homing type at heart and tends to leave casts strewn about the nest for his mate to tidy up, A great talent with plants and things that grow, irrespective of how long that may take. So then here is an aves with patience a type at that never shirks a problem as long as it doesn't ruffle feathers. And also a colourful bird that’s capable of singing a canny tune, keeping the tempo up well into the afternoon. 

This week's Spotlight falls on Johnus Kavanorus, better known as the Broad-Toed Tri Harrier. This is a rather unusual Aves, that likes tackling different challenges in different locations with its distinctive drooping pecker. It's a very adaptable bird that doesn't  mind a little rumble and tumble, and can show its paces along highways and by-ways when needs be. Though our Spotlight bird is well endowed with feathers a plenty, it struggles to maintain flight, so is mostly adapted to skimming hedges and hovering soggy ground, where it supplements its  Iron- brew diet with tit-bits of the endurance kind. Though one must say rarely gets involved in sticky mud situations for fear of taking a dive. So then not so much an Iron-man, but more of an iron-maiden. 

Spotlight this week falls on Neilus Guntorius, better known as the Lesser Bearded Fly Dipper. An adaptable aves that's quite happyscouring moorland, woodland and craggy places to satisfy its mixed diet of bugs and things. It once had a tendency to migrate to affluent parts of France, that is until the habitat there became less appealing to the vagaries of life. Nowadays he's often found locally with interests in different affairs, taking pleasure in each one, developing their skills in the art of tumbling. He goes to great lengths perusing this task to the extent of almost extinction. But he's a caring and thoughtful creature, that mates for life and mostly tends the nest in the woodlands of Tytherington, where his colourful mate keeps the house in order and happily puts to right the things our busy feathered playmate may inadvertently send spiralling to earth.


Jimmy Jimbo, better known as the Green Crested Stork. This genus is very adaptable so is capable of seeing itself survive through harsh times. Prefers to stalk in shallow waters though, for its varied fishy diet. Not so keen on meaty things, or road kill but if hungry enough will poke at the odd frog or two. Likes to nest in high places, where it builds a sturdy aerie in lofty trees in woodland, and noted to build on disused chimneys and even old factories as well, where work has long been abandoned. Its plumage is spotted emerald and is known to take to the sky's to fly across sea to the isle from whence his kin came and join with distant cousins in rituals that last for days, of which only they could explain. It also has an ear for music so many a tune takes its fancy, as will the occasional tipple down at the watering hole amongst the reed beds, where diverse creatures of the aves kind tend to congregate for a good old splurge. 


Andronicus Maximus, better known as the Madagascar Monkey Bird, due to its habit of swinging in the trees. This extremely rare but strange Aves evolved during its early evolution, when somehow its genome became entwined in some monkey busyness, which through millenniums eventually came down to what we have here today, with one part of the family line inhabiting a small enclave in the wilds of Henbury, where the species survives mostly on its favourite diet of diced turnip and pulped peel, from which it acquired its distinctive crop. Whilst the other descendant is happy evading detection swinging high in the canopy of distant monkey trees in the knowledge that its cousins dwell in less than exotic locations. 


Davidus Walkus, better known as the Blue Crested Bunting. These Aves masticate a living from all manner of seeds, grubs and insects, sometimes successful other times not so, and will most likely dwell on the morsels they may have missed on than the ones they hadn't. Not so much a filcher, more of a twitcher, due to the habit of its dipping head, as if in perpetual agreement with some imaginary force. However, a tuneful ditty has a special place in the heart of this approachable Aves, that extends to daily oblations of lilting discernible sounds, often permeating into the evening's air. 
Also, an unassuming creature with a propensity to fade into the background if light happen to die unexpectedly. But don't be fooled, this bunting isn't just a bundle of charm, it's also capable of captivating alacrity. True, this may also fade, but while it lasts all else pales into insignificance.  


Davus Shoehorn, better known as the Deep Throated Song Thrush due to its distinctive call. It is known to pitch in bushes and serenade potential suitors who happen to be in close proximity. The sound it emits to attract such prey varies on circumstance. This particular Aves has tones that reach way down the musical scale, which is rather unusual for the species really, as they're more accustomed to lean towards the highs of the castrati and mezzo- soprano, - to raise the ceiling as it were. Whereas our genus could more or less make the ground shake if needs are so desired. But nevertheless, it's a wonderful sound and a joy to behold  and would soften most hardened hearts. This coupled with the ambience it exudes it's a rare treat to come across such an earthling. If in another time or reincarnation, a Bear would favour our feathered friend, but not so much as a grisly, more of a Paddington. 

Petrus Nolandus, better known as the Grey Crested Bar Wader, for its uncanny ability to seek out watering holes wherever they may form - providing they contain a Bar. It goes  to great lengths searching out such particular haunts, sometimes in hostile places, though that doesn't appear to deter this determined Aves from spending days, maybe weeks, anytime to satisfy its sensitive enquiring pallet. But it's a homing bird as well so will always return to the mother nest for, amongst other things to sober-up. It's also a gregarious bird and will mix freely with local flocks to indulge in activities that only its genus could understand and for others to be perplexed. A night owl it certainly isn't so it couldn't give a hoot about anything that goes on in the world beyond bedtime. 



Cynthius Chipalatus, better known as the Great Crested Thatch, due to the grey canopy that protects the crown. This Aves may not appear to strike one as being overly leggy, which may be true but one would be misled  to surmise it's a totally benign creature that goes about business just pecking at this and poking at that. For under that compact frame lies a steely fortress of willpower that would grind down any prey to submission for ultimate extinction. But the genus does possess a kindred spirit that encompasses others of its ilk and readily acknowledge vagaries within the group if only to appease and keep order within the realms of respectability; should the unthinkable ever happen or, if things were to get out of hand. 
So, it's a bird of moral judgement as well as an attributive killing machine, which, I suppose, is about as paradoxical as anything  could possibly get. Then, who are we to cast a candid opinion on this unpretentious feathered creature who would probably want nothing more, than to fly within the green-eyed borders of its blessed territory of Prestbury and survey all that's there within. 

Ruby Diamond, better know as Hawk Eye, due to her ability to spot a bug on a slug at 50 paces. No mean feat when one considers she lays an egg most days of the year. But then Ruby's no ordinary bird. She rules the roost and heads the pecking order; all that goes on beneath her is down to her decision; a bit like a head of government  really, only if he or she gets things wrong there's egg on their face, whilst in Ruby's case, it's another one in the tray. She rules with an iron fist, though, and won't tolerate subordination; any unrest and feathers will fly, and any sign of mutiny in the ranks mean certain punishment for the ring leaders, and it's not uncommon that their forfeiture could go as far as removal of a perch. And not  the type of Aves to sit on the fence and make a rational judgement, mainly because she hasn't got one but, if she's found in a good mood she'll gather the brood to partake in some jolly merriment. No cockfights on this hen's patch, although it's rumoured a few of the younger chicks wouldn't mind spending a little time in the presence of a few of their kind,  though Ruby wouldn't have any truck with that on the grounds that, any Cockatoo will just not do. 


Margareta Huytonius: better known as the long-tailed tree dangler: as the description implies, this vertebrate is more at home in woodland environments than possibly any where else; where she combs the thickets and tree forms for unusual configurations to vent her uncanny acrobatic skills- of which she has plenty. You name it, she'll face it, and give it her abounding attention. Shimmering up any form of edifice would be a doddle for this agile primate; whether it be a natural feature or artificial, she'll harbour no thought of hidden danger, or if things go awry. Diminutive of stature she may be, though in her tiny frame beats a heart like a lion's, where size doesn't count for much except for a decent meal. 



Phillipus Stubilatis, better know as the Sheerwater/ Albatros; due to it's love of the sea and incredible distance it's capable of procuring during a calendar year. This old bird has a myriad of facets to turn to, if it so desired, including a fair share  of different sports, as well as an interest in boating in northern waters to seek and admire some of the worlds larger sea mammals, which would surprise some if they had known the multifariousness of this unassuming creature. But like most living thinga flaw is never too far from the surface and the subject in question is no exception to this, in that its desire against procreation is stronger than rearing chicks to carry the bloodline. True: it possesses an adequate shelter, which it often returns to, but this is probably due to natural instinct rather than paternal necessity. However, one could say with confidence our bird prefers the open sky's and freedom to travel than nestling down on a clutch of fertile eggs. This doesn't mean to say our aves is a lonesome type- far from it: It can mix it with the best of them, and become involved with others on many a project that may take day's or even longer; I'm surprised it needs a perch or  some sleeps; but down the years, all these activities  are taking their toll: Surprisingly, the plumage is holding up rather well, considering the usage, but the joints aren't quite like they once were, and one can detect a slight hobble and wobble before flight, but one airborne it's as if a metamorphosis takes hold and the rather old returns to the time of the youth, which suggests to all there's life still in the old dog yet.